Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
