Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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