i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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