boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
