I am puke
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
