I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
