u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
