omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize