We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
