what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
