I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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