I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
