yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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