I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
