Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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