we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Still dying that you shit outside
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
