So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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