Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize