I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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