Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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