There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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