Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
