i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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