Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
