how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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