Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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