umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
