Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize