**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
