So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
