I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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