I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
