do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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