I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
