I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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