You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
