all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
