You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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