I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
