And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
