She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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