Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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