We're like a lot better than the average bears
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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