You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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