i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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