she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
