franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
