Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
