So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
