found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You are the jesus of drinking
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
