I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
