what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
