Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
