Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
