Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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