help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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