Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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