you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
