I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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