they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
