and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
