how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
