Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
