is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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