The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize