Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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