They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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