This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
