Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
