we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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