He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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