1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
