you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize