she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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