He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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