It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
