I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
