Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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(520): View more from Arizona

I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie

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(415): View more from California

is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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(516): View more from New York

My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm

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(334): View more from Alabama

A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.

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(281): View more from Texas

Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.

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(585): View more from New York

I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.

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