You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize