after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
how does that bad decision feel?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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