By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
