i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
