He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
